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Church sponsors weekly divorce support group
by Charles S. Williams
Are you recovering from the pain of separation and/or divorce? If so, there is help for you in Wilkes County.
The Wilkesboro church of Christ, located on Curtis Bridge Road in Wilkesboro, is sponsoring a "DivorceCare" program, a weekly support group and seminar that meets at the church and is conducted by the church's minister, Jon Smith.
The next session will begin on Wednesday, May 13, 7-8:30 p.m. DivorceCare is a 13-week program but is structured so that participants can join at any time, and the program will begin again at the end of the first 13 weeks. Smith said that participants can attend as many or as few meetings as they would like and added that repeating the class often helps participants better understand all of the concepts.
"We welcome anyone who has been separated or divorced for a long time or a very short time," he said.
Smith, who has a master's degree in counseling and human development, has been in Wilkes County for 18 months. The first class started a year ago.
"My wife and I had both been through divorces before we met, so we have a heart for people who are going through the process," he said. "We started this program with the hope of doing something for others."
The meetings are held in a former office, which has been converted into a living room/lounge area with sofas and chairs. Smith said, "We wanted it to be a casual setting. We usually begin with a DVD or program and then have a discussion for the final half of the meeting."
The weekly seminar topics are:
• "What's happening to me?;"
• The road to healing/finding help;
• "Facing my anger;"
• "Facing my depression;"
• What does the owner's manual say?;
• New relationships;
• Financial survival;
• KidCare;
• Single sexuality;
• Forgiveness;
• Reconciliation; and
• Moving on / growing closer to God.
Program for children
With the beginning of the program on May 13, the church will also start its DivorceCare for Kids program, which is designed to help children heal from the hurt of divorce. It's designed for children ages 5-12, but "we would welcome children who are 13 or 14," Smith said.
The program will include games, story time, workbook, DVD dramas, group discussion, music, crafts and snacks. Subjects for the sessions will include "What's happening to my family?," "It's not my fault," and "Loving my parents."
Overseeing the youth program is Smith's wife, Andrea, who has a master's degree in curriculum and instruction.
"To a degree, these children blame themselves," Smith said. "We want them to understand that it's not their fault, that this was an adult decision made by adults."
According to Smith, "The program is open to anyone, whether they have a church or not. We don't want anyone to think that this is a recruitment tool for our church. We simply want to reach out to people who are going through pain."
National program
DivorceCare is a national program that is headquartered in Chapel Hill.
There is no charge, but the church asks for a one-time donation of $10 to cover the cost of the workbook.
The program includes talks by counselors, therapists, ministers and others on DVD.
He said that the 90-minute length of the program is adhered to closely, "but many times I will see people continuing their discussions after class. Also, some of the class members have become friends outside the program and visit together during the week."
Smith said that DivorceCare is not a dating service and is not designed to help singles meet others.
"Actually, we discourage relationships between those in the group," Smith said. "Obviously we cannot police that, but we are not looking to pair up people through this program. But sometimes people just click and their stories will resonate with each other."
He added, "What we want to offer in addition to the programs is a chance for the people to share their stories. We want to give them the power to heal and change. The power is in us sharing our lives with each other.
"Some times the discussions are intense, but we laugh a lot as well. A lot of new friendships are made."
Smith said that the class size during the first year ranged from five to 15 people, with an age range from the 20s to 40s, though there were some who were older. |
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